Back in 2007, a little movie called Grindhouse came out. It was a collaboration between directors Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez, both of whom wanted to create a homage to B-movies and exploitation films. Rodriguez's Planet Terror and Tarantino's Death Proof played back-to-back and they featured a stunt man with an indestructible car, a stripper amputee with a machine gun leg, and man-eating townspeople. Hardly Oscar-worthy but definitely crazy fun.
One of the greatest aspects of Grindhouse, however, were the fake trailers that would pop up every so often. In a competition between filmmakers Edgar Wright, Robert Rodriguez, Rob Zombie, and Eli Roth to outcheese each other, the most ridiculous ideas for films became reality. Among them, killer pilgrims, Nazi werewolf women, and finally, a vengeance-seeking Mexican named Machete. These were trailers the directors could laugh about never seeing the big screen. Wait…
Fast forward to 2010. Machete, directed by Robert Rodriguez hits theaters everywhere. Danny Trejo plays the titular character, a former Mexican Federale who seeks revenge on his employers who attempt to kill him. Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Steven Seagal, Cheech Marin, and a bunch of other big names star in the film. People are confused but excited. Lindsay Lohan plays a nun with a gun. People are just perplexed. Just before the credits roll, a voice announces that Machete will be back in Machete Kills and Machete Kills Again.
Fast forward to 2012. Director Robert Rodriguez announces that principal photography on Machete Kills has begun. Some newcomers to the film include Mel Gibson (Die Hard), Sofia Vergara (Modern Family), Amber Heard (Drive Angry) and Zoe Saldana (Avatar). Cool.
Forward to one day ago. Charlie Sheen becomes the President of the United States. #winning
Okay, I'll elaborate. On Thursday, according to The Hollywood Reporter, Robert Rodriguez announced via Twitter that Charlie Sheen would be playing the President of the United States in Machete Kills. The actual tweet: “I just cast Charlie Sheen in #machetekills as the President of the United States! Who better? More soon…”
Apparently the Two and a Half Men departee will be following in the footsteps of his father, Martin Sheen, who played the President in the TV series The West Wing. He'll be recruiting Machete to stop a cartel leader and an arms dealer planning to fire a missile from space.
Machete Kills will be released in 2013 and it's going to be cheesier, gorier, more tasteless, and more over-the-top than ever before.
We can't wait.