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The CHARGED Elite: Week Sixteen

by Photo of Ross Bernhardt

In the penultimate power rankings, each team gets a haiku.

The CHARGED Elite: Week Sixteen

Just one week of the NFL regular season remains.  A few Playoff spots remain up for grabs and the Suck for Luck race has suddenly become interesting.  For the penultimate edition of the CHARGED Elite, I will give each team a haiku, the traditional Japanese poem.  They've got enough on their minds as week 17 approaches, so a relaxing 17-syllable poem should do them all good. 

1. Green Bay Packers (14-1, Last Week 1) - Aaron Rodgers is / The obvious M-V-P / Who else could it be?

2. New Orleans Saints (12-3, Last Week 2) - Congratulations / on breaking Dan Marino's / Record Mr. Brees!

3. New England Patriots (12-3, Last Week 3) - New England's defense / Needs Jerrod Mayo to play / Like he did Sunday.

4. Baltimore Ravens (11-4, Last Week 4) - Baltimore's Ray Rice / Is the key for the Ravens / And playoff success.

5. San Francisco 49ers (12-3, Last week 5) - Head coach Jim Harbaugh / Will likely win Coach of the Year / And he deserves it.

6. Pittsburgh Steelers (11-4, Last Week 6) - Rashard Mendenhall / Proved that when he plays his best / Charlie Batch can win.

7. Detroit Lions (10-5, Last Week 9) - "Stafford to Johnson" / A phrase that Lions fans will / Hear for years to come.

8. Cincinnati Bengals (9-6, Last Week 13) - Wow Jerome Simpson / That front flip was amazing / Highlight of the year.

9. Atlanta Falcons (9-6, Last Week 8) - The Falcons are in / But could use a win Sunday / To boost confidence.

10. New York Giants (8-7, Last Week 16) - When Victor Cruz scores / And proceeds to salsa dance / The world is happy.

11. Houston Texans (10-5, Last Week 7) - Houston's in trouble / If the defense can't make up / For the injuries.

12. Philadelphia Eagles (7-8, Last Week 18) - The dream may have died / But Philly is showing us / How good they can be.

13. Dallas Cowboys (8-7, Last Week 10) - Romo needs to play / He can silence his critics / With a win Sunday.

14. Denver Broncos (8-7, Last Week 11) - The Bills stopped Tebow / Now Denver must win Sunday / To make the Playoffs.

15. New York Jets (8-7, Last Week 12) - 59 passes / Is way too high a number / For Mark John Sanchez.

16. Oakland Raiders (8-7, Last Week 20) - The Raiders are alive / But need a Chiefs miracle / to make the Playoffs.

17. Tennessee Titans (8-7, Last Week 19) - Tennessee will need / Lots of help from the Ravens / To sneak by Cincy.

18. Seattle Seahawks (7-8, Last Week 14) - Not enough Skittles / For Seattle to come back / Against the Niners.

19. San Diego Chargers (7-8, Last Week 15) - The Chargers are done / Norv Turner is likely out / What a disaster.

20. Carolina Panthers (6-9, Last Week 23) - Cam Newton's passing / Has surpassed expectations / He just needs a team.

21. Arizona Cardinals (7-8, Last Week 17) - Nice run for the Cards / This team and defense fought hard / The future is bright.

22. Miami Dolphins (5-10, Last Week 21) - Miami's playing / Terrific football right now / Better watch out, Jets.

23. Buffalo Bills (6-9, Last Week 26) - Ryan Fitzpatrick / Found that early "Fitzmagic" / To take down Denver.

24. Kansas City Chiefs (6-9, Last Week 22) - Orton has a chance / For revenge against Denver / Who could have predicted?

25. Washington Redskins (5-10, Last Week 25) - They crush the Giants / Then fall to the hurt Vikings / Real tough team to gauge.

26. Chicago Bears (7-8, Last Week 24) - Oh what could have been / Had Cutler and Forte been / Healthy and playing.

27. Jacksonville Jaguars (4-11, Last Week 27) - Another lost season / And another prime year gone / For Maurice Jones-Drew.

28. Cleveland Browns (4-11, Last Week 28) - What's wrong with Cleveland? / I can't quite figure it out / But it's not a curse.

29. Minnesota Vikings  (3-12, Last Week 30) - Peterson's injury / Was incredibly gruesome / But he will be back.

30. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-11, Last Week 29) - Look at it this way / There's still tons of talent there / To get back on top.  

31. Indianapolis Colts (2-13, Last Week 32) - Dan Olovsky's Colts / Say "To hell with Andrew Luck / We want to win games."

32. St. Louis Rams  (2-13, Last Week 31) - The Rams have sunk low / But now are in play for Luck / Or a big time trade.

Agree?  Disagree?  Let us know what you think in the comment section, and make sure you check out next week's updated rankings of the CHARGED Elite.


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